Dick

Wisconsin Senator Glenn Grothman was recently quoted saying that it was okay to pay women less than men because “Money is more important for men.” He went on to say, “I think a guy in their first job, maybe because they expect to be a breadwinner someday, may be a little more money-conscious,” and then basically said that women’s claims of workplace bias were really not that big of a deal.


One of my Facebook friends posted a link to this story, in justifiable disgust. Most of her friends posted comments like, “Gross!” and “Yuck!” and “Unbelievable.” Things that you would expect from such a clueless state of mind.

But then there was Dick. Now, I know Dick (not by choice), and I don’t have anything to say about him. Furthermore, there is no need for me to say anything about him, because his words stand for themselves. Here was his response, with parenthetical comments added for clarity, but otherwise all words were his:

”I kind of agree (that women should be paid less) just because we (meaning men) are 1) expected to provide for a family 2) it's not acceptable for us to just marry a rich woman and stay at home and spend our days shopping 3) we are expected to shower gifts upon girls in order to gain their trust and affection because girls 4) want security from their men. An attractive girl doesn't need money, she can just marry a rich man or be a stripper.”

So, I admit, I don’t know Dick that well, so I just thought, “Oh, this is an extremely deadpan joke. Because, seriously, what kind of moron would believe that sort of thing?” Later on, based on another comment he made, I surmised that is was no joke. So let’s just break down his statement, piece by piece, and allow me to directly respond:

1. I kind of agree. Well, dude, might as well go whole hog on this one. Kind of agreeing in a circumstance like this is like kind of agreeing that the Nazis had a point. Either you’re in or you’re out.

2. (Men are) expected to provide for a family – Oh my God, you are so right! That is why every man in this country pays child support! Right? That’s why nobody ever needs a paternity test – because men freely step up and provide. That’s why there are no men who are unemployed, and why every woman stays home and takes care of the children.

3. It’s not acceptable for us (meaning men) to just marry a rich woman and stay at home and spend our days shopping. Why the heck not? That sounds like a pretty sweet gig, Dick. Now, let’s just put aside the fact that most spouses who stay at home are not doing so to “go shopping,” and focus on the “not acceptable” part. Says who? You? Oh, it is you. Well, let’s evaluate the rest of your comments to see if you’re worth listening to.

4. We (meaning men) are expected to shower gifts upon girls in order to gain their trust and affection. Friend, let’s just lay it on the line here. You could do all the showering of gifts you want, and a “girl” is never going to trust you because you are awful. Also: I would like to meet some of these men who are expected to shower gifts and affection on me. I could use both. Please provide names and numbers.

5. Girls want security from their men. An attractive girl doesn’t need money, she can just marry a rich man or be a stripper. Okay, first, just a small point: there should have been a semicolon between “money” and “she.” Aside from that, however, I first am so curious about your continual use of “girls.” Stop talking about girls, Dick. You sound like a freaking pedophile. Second, it is possible that women want security from their men, just as men want security from their women, and lesbians and homosexuals want security from their men and women, too. People want security from each other, semicolon, it is not a gender thing. Third, attractive girls do, in fact, need money. Everyone needs money, Dick. Fourth, I think it’s a very sad situation in the world that Hilary Clinton was denied what should have been her destiny – to be a stripper – solely because she is not that attractive. I am sure that Hilary could have made a great contribution to the stripper world, if only she hadn’t been thwarted by her unfortunate lack of chin and heavy thighs. And really, Dick, I am THRILLED that you have given us “girls” two choices. Marry rich or be a stripper. Because you are right: women want to be strippers. You can tell when you go to strip clubs and see all the winners who work there. Furthermore, it is highly interesting that, in your eyes, an attractive girl can either be a whore (marrying a man just for his money) or a whore (paid to take off her clothes.) Sort of throwing all the attractive women in the whore basket, aren’t you?

I hope all of you will join me in wishing Dick the best of luck. Boy does he need it.