Goodbye, 2011!

Wow! 2011 just flew by. And, by flew by, I mean that I became convinced that it was 2012 in about June, and started using 2012 as my date on everything. That was kind of weird. But, that’s not to say that 2011 didn’t have its memorable moments. Here’s what we learned in the year that was….

1. You probably shouldn’t sell all your worldly goods just because Harold Camping says the world’s going to end.
2. Earthquake + tsunami + nuclear reactor = holy shit.
3. Pro basketball lockout? Meh.
4. It was secretly a little bit cool when those Mythbusters sent a cannonball through someone’s house.
5. As it turns out, homeless people who beg for dollars at the side of the road (even those with golden voices) often have mental health and addiction issues that they can’t overcome simply by being paraded before millions of people and featured on the Today show! Who knew!
6. Royal weddings are kind of annoying.
7. Partying, partying? Yeah!
8. Not even the death of Osama bin Laden could stop Americans from bitching. This time about how the announcement interrupted The Celebrity Apprentice.
9. Lindsay Lohan has some seriously jacked up meth teeth.
10. But people, apparently, still want to see her nekked.
11.Patrice O’Neal roasted Charlie Sheen, and now he’s dead. So, draw your own conclusions.
12. Gabrielle Giffords…seriously….that was messed up. No matter what your politics.
13. Considering their financial trouble lately, perhaps the Europeans should be a little less condescending.
14. Despite both being terrible, Nancy Grace and awkward celebrity dancing have their fans.
15. Americans will support people through a lot of things, but not a 72-day marriage.
16. Speaking of which: most annoying celebrity of 2011? Kim Kardashian.
17. Close runner up? Alleged roast killer Charlie Sheen.
18. I’m not even going to mention Casey Anthony.
19. STOP CHANGING FACEBOOK!
20. Some people really love to say Merry Christmas.
21. “Rolling in the Deep” is probably on your iPod right now.
22. Unless you’re all alternative. In that case, it’s “Rope” by the Foo Fighters.
23. While we’re decidedly apathetic about protests, pepper spray seems like a douchey move.
24. On a related note, this post is currently being occupied by the 99%. They would like a bathroom, please.
25. As it turns out, Urban Meyer didn’t want to spend that much time with his family.
26. We still like Jen waaaaaaaaaaaay more than Angelina .
27. The world is different because of Steve Jobs. I mean cyborgs.
28. When the gays forced us all to be gay as a result of their gay agenda, and now we’re all gay? Fabulous!
29. Tebowing is either really gross or really awesome, depending on how annoying you are.
30. Arab Spring sounds like a bar of soap.
31. And that gross Anthony Weiner thing happened.
32. People still haven’t grown tired of saying, “Where’s your global warming now, Al Gore?” whenever it snows.
33. It was not a good year for despots.
34. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger, who totally proved correct my theory that you just can’t trust those Austrians.
35. Muammar Gadhafi looked just like Bert Convy right until the bitter end. What? You never watched Love Boat?
36. Coincidentally, 2011 was the 20th anniversary of Bert Convy’s death.
37. Michelle Bachmann on the cover of Newsweek with the crazy eyes was not entirely inaccurate.
38. Honey badger don't care.
39. And last of all – but way too soon - a little piece of E. Street moved to heaven.