At the end of the day, it is what it is, and I'm over it.

Back in the eighties, right when people started to realize that the strict authoritarian model of society that we’d all been following could be replaced with a more person-centered model, a phrase cropped up: “Me time.” It was used for any time that a person detached for a moment to gain his or her own personal center, so that he or she could then return to work, family, life, etc. in a refreshed and meaningful way. But soon enough, this phrase began to be used for everything from going shopping to snorting cocaine off of a public toilet, and it lost all practical meaning. The same thing seems to be happening with a crop of popular phrases today. Here are the ones I can think of off the top of my head:

He really threw me under the bus – Listen, I am all for a good metaphor (and a good bus-throwing-under), but the term should only be used when someone makes you a scapegoat for something that wasn’t their responsibility. Nowadays, people use this phrase every time someone gives an opinion that differs from their own. It’s NOT throwing someone under the bus to say, “Here is the thing you believe in that makes you look like a fool. I am going to point that out.” That is just pointing outiness. Totally different.

It is what it is – While divinely philosophical, people typically use this phrase when they actually mean, “It seems like you are winning this argument. In order to escape, I am going to stop all conversation by using this meaningless phrase.” Coward!

Winning! – Nobody needs you to point that shit out.

At the end of the day – More like, “At the end of this sentence.” The Urban Dictionary defines this phrase as, “Rubbish phrase used by many annoying people.” Amen, my urban comrades, amen. Using this phrase is cruel to all of the things that actually must be done at the end of the day, e.g., turning off all of the lights, brushing your teeth, taking your Ambien, etc. At the end of the day, all we really want is to sound smart, but using this phrase just makes you sound like you’re on a time schedule.

I’m so blessed to…. – What you’re really about to say is, “I’m about to rub something in your face reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal good.” For example, “I am so blessed to have just received my trust fund check. Cha-ching! Thanks for dying, Daddy!” The most heinous thing about this is generally, you are NOT blessed, you are either lucky, or you worked hard to get it, and for some reason, admitting either one of those is uncomfortable right now. On the other hand, I have been blessed with an awesome fucking ability to use swear words.

I love her to death – I find this one particularly disturbing. A) I do not want anyone loving me until I die, either literally or figuratively. That is abusive and sounds uncomfortable. B) Everyone knows that the word that ALMOST ALWAYS follows this phrase is “….but…..,” followed then by some incredibly snide remark. “I love her to death, but Jesus Christ she smells like an ass dipped in vomit!” C) It is just plain condescending. “I love her to death, but she is too stupid to realize the next mean thing I am going to say about her – let’s continue to keep it a secret!” Just face the fact that you are a gossipy gossipmonster. Stop trying to sugarcoat it.

I’m over it – uh…..no you aren’t.