Change A Letter, Ruin A...

Twitter is great for a lot of things. Silly things. In terms of actual news, while it hits the mark on quantity, the quality is often lacking. Unless Bono really does have Ebola. In that case, I take back everything. There was a hashtag making the rounds a couple of weeks ago that cracked the hell out of me: #Changealetterruinatvshow. Well, let me tell you, I rocked at that. My personal favorites: America’s Toe Model, The Love Goat, and The Biggest Loner. All, as you can see, appropriately ruined. I’ve now applied that concept to movies. Here goes:

Kids of the Spider Woman – Hundreds, to be exact

Apocalypse, Wow! – A hilarious romp through the jungles of Vietnam

2 Angry Men – Specifically Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show

The Humper Games – Dogs getting distracted at an obstacle course

The Love Ranger – Johnny Depp, being weird as usual

Kind Kong – The nicest ape in town

Snakes on a Plant – Okay, they’re just worms

Steal Magnolias – Thieves with a flair for what makes a home beautiful take over a small southern town

Sawing Private Ryan – Magic tricks gone awry

Desperately Seeking Sudan – Madonna knows it’s in Africa, but where?

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Sucrets – He has a sore throat

The Lizard of Oz – Run!!!!!

It’s a Wonderful Lime – See just how versatile this often unheralded citrus fruit is

Norma Rat – The chilling tale of exactly what happens when rodents organize

The Lord of the Rinds – A gamer sits in his parent’s basement, eating pork snacks

Flee Willy – The Orca’s on the loose!

Hannah and Her Misters – She’s a bit of a whore

Bag – Tom Hanks plays a grocery store bagger. Just because.

Bard On A Wire – Shakespeare uses a telephone!

Saturday: Light Fever – A suspenseful tale about the Ebola incubation period

A Few Gold Men – A behind-the-scenes look at the Oscars race for best picture

Citizen Kale – A man, obsessed with leafy greens

96 Candles – Sam’s parents forgot her 96th birthday

A Fee, Good Men – The life and times of a polite tollbooth worker

Muriel’s Weeding – An Australian lady gardens

The Silence of the Limbs –A psychopathic murderer holds the cure for restless leg syndrome

The Frying Game – The knives fly on this realistic look at competitive cooking shows

Gone With the Wine – We’ve all been there

(Alternately) Gene With the Wind – When he’ll blow by, nobody knows