Diner Gators

Recently, my old cell phone took an unfortunate bath in the sink, and I had to buy a new phone – something I did not want to do, as I enjoyed my old, low-tech phone that dropped calls and blatantly refused to send or receive text messages on a regular basis.

But I got a new phone.  An iPhone 4, which is not as fancy as an iPhone 5, but it only cost 99 cents, so I wasn’t complaining.  In any event, my new phone has a predictive text feature, also known as autocorrect, which means that I can have the fattest, stupidest thumbs in the world, getting almost every letter of my text messages wrong, but my phone will still figure out what I’m trying to say, and send the right message.  It is pretty amazing, but it is downright delightful when the phone gets it wrong.

Most have you have probably heard of the site damnyouautocorrect.com.  It is full of autocorrect miscues.  I have a hard time buying many of the autocorrects on the site, because it seems like all of them are sexual, and my phone isn’t a pervert that way.  What my phone did, instead, was come up with the greatest television show idea ever conceived: Diner Gators.

Here’s what happened.  I was texting back and forth with my friend Karen on a Tuesday night, and I was telling her about a hilarious show that I was watching on ABC called Suburgatory.  Now, maybe this show isn’t regularly funny, but I saw about half of one episode, and it was hilarious.  I texted Karen the following message: “I am watching a hilarious show called Suburgatory.”  My phone, however, corrected the message to, “I am watching a hilarious show called Diner Gators.”

I caught the error immediately, and re-typed “Suburgatory,” which my phone then changed to “Synergy Torts.”  Karen responded, “TLC?”  which is why I adore Karen.  It was also completely appropriate, considering that TLC would, indeed air both Diner Gators and Synergy Torts.  Here’s the way I envision those shows going:

DINER GATORS:  You’ve seen Gator Boys, and you’ve seen Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, but you’ve never seen anything like Diner Gators!  Join TLC deep in the Louisiana Bayou, as we follow the Robineaux family, at their family diner, the Robineaux Gator Diner.  What’s on the menu?  Gators, of course!  You will love trying to interpret the delightful Creole patois of the Robineaux clan, and be clamoring for your own helping of their delicious Three Gator Gumbo.  Diner Gators: it’s what’s cookin’.

SYNERGY TORTS: Joss Johnson knows two things: the law, and yoga.  TLC follows Joss in her real life journey, as she navigates the cutthroat world of toxic tort litigation, and balancing 60 hour work weeks with shoulder stands, chaturanga dandasana, and downward dogs, not to mention her precocious 2-year-old daughter, Paxton, and hubby Josh.  Life is a balancing act, and Joss Johnson is all about achieving balance.  Synergy Torts: feel the power (yoga).