Isn't it Ironic?

The ability to spell is a gift, not a skill. Sure, there are things that a person who wasn’t born with the spelling gift can do to become better at it, but essentially, the ability to spell words correctly is the same as the ability to play piano or run fast: some people just have it and some people don’t. And according to my son, “Nobody cares, Mom.” So, keeping this in mind (and keeping in mind that my son’s generation is totally going to be taken over by robots), I am tolerant of bad spellers. I smile and move on when people say, “We have nothing to loose,” or “Therefor, I will take the bus.” In fact, I have fallen deeply in love with one spelling gaffe in particular.

“Noone” is what many people write in place of the words “no one”. Several examples:
1. Noone answered the door
2. Noone is having fun
3. Noone is eating this tapioca pudding

When I think of Noone, I always think of the British band Oasis, comprised of two brothers, Noah and Liam Gallagher. They had the hit songs “Champagne Supernova,” “Wonderwall” and “Don’t Look Back in Anger”, and were almost as well-known for their spectacular fights and bad behavior as their music. In my mind, they have a brother: Noone Gallagher, who is older, a little bit on the dumb side, and amazingly good-natured. Here’s the scene: we’re in the lobby of London’s Savoy Hotel. It’s a typically rainy London afternoon, and there are all sorts of double decker buses and Margaret Thatcher and bad teeth outside, but inside, Noah and Liam Gallagher are engaged in a fistfight with each other and the British press. The boys are swearing and yelling “Wot!” and other typically British things, while Noone Gallagher, sweet, dear Noone, is standing on the sidelines, smiling and quietly eating tapioca pudding. As you may have heard, Noone likes tapioca pudding.

You can take Noone anywhere, and he will have a good time. And Noone will always make you feel good. Think about it: Noone asked your opinion! Noone wants illegal immigrants in this country! Noone appreciates that I spent all day cleaning this hellhole!

Oh my God, I love Noone so much! You simply can’t bring the man down. So I encourage you, dear friends, to keep Noone close to your hearts and minds, but if you can't, don't worry: Noone likes a bad attitude.