Top 10 Network Television Shows of All Time

Emmy nominations just came out, and as usual, my beloved Community was almost completely overlooked.  In honor of the Emmy nomination committee getting it completely wrong, I want to nominate my top ten network shows of all time.  I only listed shows that are on the major networks or PBS, so I totally get it that I screwed up royally by failing to include Deadwood.  Actually, I have never seen Deadwood.  My top cable show would have been The Daily Show.  Also: I am working on my own memory here, and what I have personally viewed, so while The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy may have been amazing television, I am only going what I have personally seen and viewed.  But I have damn good taste.  Just barely missing the cut: Hill Street Blues, My So-Called Life, The Mole, The Bob Newhart Show, Welcome Back Kotter, and certain episodes of 30 Rock.  Here are the top 10:    

#10: Good Times – Everything, from the hard-times reality of its theme song to the death of James Evans Sr. was real.  While most viewers remember Jimmie Walkers’ wide smile and “Dy-no-mite!!”  catchphrase, the driving forces of this show were Esther Rolle and John Amos as Florida and James Evans.  Living in the projects of Chicago, the Evans family was about as far from the Huxtables as a person could imagine in terms of their social position, but their love and commitment to each other was as real and magical as any series could portray.  This was a great show.

#9: I’ll Fly Away – It’s possible that you never saw this show, because it only aired for two years, and it was at some weird time, like 9 pm on Sunday night or something like that.  But if there’s any way you can get this series on Netflix, do it.  Set in the 1960s south, it follows the family of district attorney Forrest Bedford, including their black housekeeper, Lilly Harper, and their precocious youngest son, John Morgan Bedford.  Regina Taylor, as Lilly Harper is, in my opinion, one of the top actresses in a role who has ever existed.  The Help has nothing on this contained southern drama. 

#8: The Carol Burnett Show – If you were born after this show ended its run in 1978, you missed monumental television.  A brilliant comedic ensemble show, it was anchored by Burnett, a flexible, fearless comedian, and Harvey Korman, who could play the straight man or the buffoon with equal ability and humor.  For my money, the best sketch on the show ever was their send up of Mildred Pierce, entitled “Mildred Fierce,” but honestly, there’s scarcely a bad moment on this show.

#7: Sesame Street – Every child was welcome on Sesame Street, and their unique characters, like The Count, Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, Grover, and Cookie Monster, simply came as they were.  Never cloying or overly precious, Sesame Street has been happening for over forty years, without jumping the shark, or having horrible things happen to its characters every single week like that ridiculous Gray’s Anatomy. 

#6: Barney Miller – First of all, the theme song for Barney Miller has got to be in the Top 5 of all time, along with Welcome Back Kotter, ThirtySomething, House, and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  But aside from the excellent song, Barney Miller had an ensemble cast that was greater than the sum of its parts.  While Hal Linden, aka Barney Miller, held the show together with his steady, solid performance, it was the collective personalities of Wojo, Harris, Yemana, Dietrich, and Fish, played by the incomparable Abe Vigoda, that gave this comedy the interest and life that carried it through seven seasons. 

#5: The Wonder Years – There are many imitators, but only one Wonder Years.  The most amazing thing about this show, set in the 1960’s memory of Kevin Arnold, telling the story of his childhood as a grown up, is its ability to take the viewer from screaming with laughter to holding back tears in the span of five minutes.  Fred Savage, playing the main character, did more acting with his big brown eyes than lesser actors have done in their entire careers, but for me, the standout was Dan Lauria, as Kevin’s dad, who played his role with a gruffness and deeply hidden sensitivity that was touching.   

#4: M*A*S*H – This show worked on so many levels.  Set in “the Korean War,” a thinly-veiled disguise for the conflict in Vietnam, MASH is another show that relied on a strong ensemble of fine actors and memorable, singular characters.  Of course, Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce kept the series anchored with his turns from practical joker, to Lothario, to sensitive human in the midst of something truly horrible.  I will be happy to argue with anyone about the relative merits of Blake versus Potter, Radar versus Klinger, and Trapper John versus Hunnicutt.  I have plenty of opinions.

#3:  Family Matters –Family Matters fucking rocked.  If you disagree with me, you’re wrong.

#2: Community – I’m not sure how Community ended up in the #2 spot, but, there you go. Fact is, most of you have not watched Community because you think it’s weird or too inside-jokey, but damn you, you are missing the best comedy on television.  The beauty of this show, which was the beauty of Seinfeld, is that it hosts a cast of people who are thoroughly unapologetic about who they are.  And the plots are more creative than any other comedy, save Louie (ineligible because it’s on F/X), and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is hilarious but so wrong that sometimes I have to go to church after watching it. In any event, the episodes Remedial Chaos Theory and Modern Warfare (aka, the paintball episode) are standouts in a show that continually pushes the envelope.  Also: Troy and Abed.

#1: Homicide: Life on the Street – This Baltimore based cop drama ran from 1993 to 1999, and was ugly the way The Wire was ugly.  This show wasn’t about solving murders,  the red names - indicating unsolved murders  - on the dry-erase board were just as an important part of this series as the black names that indicated solved cases.  In an amazing ensemble cast, Andre Braugher as detective Frank Pembleton, and Melissa Leo as detective Kay Howard were consistently amazing (even though word on the street is that Leo was fired for refusing to wear makeup in later seasons).  Luther Mahoney, played by Erik Dellums, is one of the all-time great villains, and, “Three Men and Adena,” centering around the interrogation of a suspect in an infamous crime, is the most breathtaking hour of television ever written.  Homicide never tidied things up neatly.  It was messy, and human, and real. 

The Most Amazing Thing

I think I’ve mentioned before that I live next door to an assisted living home.  Oh, come to think of it, I’ve also mentioned that my neighbors are assholes, so let me clarify.  I have neighbors on both sides.  On one side is an assisted living home that has four apartments – so four individuals who receive what appears to be 24-hour assistance live there.  On the other side is a double with two sets of identical bland early-thirties couples.  One night, bland couple #1 had typical loud, drunken, annoying party where not-so-attractive girls (I’m just sayin’) shrieked “Oh my Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd!” on the front porch and guys said “bro” a lot.  The guy from bland couple #2 then decided to DRUNKLY COME OVER TO MY HOME TO TRY TO CAJOLE MY UNDERAGE SON INTO JOINING THEM FOR A BEER--WITH FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT MY SON WAS UNDERAGE!  (My son’s response, “No.  You’re acting like an asshole.  Now pick up that beer can.”)  Understandably, I consider bland couple #1 and #2 to be scourges on the community, and I just pretend that they’re dead.  I am not talking about them in this post.  I’m talking about my awesome neighbors.  The assisted living ones.

And I’m not going to go all, “A very special Cats with Knives” on you, and explain how my neighbors who have Down’s Syndrome and other conditions that require them to have extra care are the most special people on earth because they are innocent and kind, and take every day as it comes, and etc.  I’m not going to talk about how the bus comes down our street every day and takes them to work so that they can be productive, contributing members of our society.  I’m not going to say any condescending crap about them, because that may all be true, but that’s not why I like them.

I like them because their home is owned by an organization called Creative Housing.  I know that because the Creative Housing van is often parked outside, and the people who work there are cutting the grass, or fixing the gutters, or installing a back patio.  If you follow the link above to the Creative Housing website, you'll see that it is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing safe, accessible and affordable housing to individuals with disabilities in the Columbus metropolitan area.  That is exactly what they do.  The apartment building is meticulously maintained, safe for the people who live there, responsible to the community, and the people who work there are amazing.  AMAZING.

As a law student for the past 4 years, I set my study materials up at the kitchen table.  I didn’t want to do all of my studying upstairs in the office, removed from my son, so I decided to work in the kitchen, facing out the window, looking directly at the door of Creative Housing.  I see the people who work there, who in all likelihood are home health workers – an often underpaid and overworked population – entering and leaving at all hours of the day.  I see them accompanying the residents to the grocery store, sitting with the residents out on the porch, and having a cookout in the backyard.  What I don’t see - not ever – are workers being impatient with the residents, hurrying them along, or insisting they come inside.  I never see them smoking a cigarette or reading a book.  I have lived in this house for about ten years, and not once have I seen these workers be anything but incredible.  Not just able, incredible.

Even more, from my window, I see families.  Parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles…visiting their loved ones – all of whom are full-grown, but none of whom can be successful independently.  And I often think about how worried these parents must be for their children, knowing that they will likely pass away before their children, and scared that they can never adequately prepare their kids for this eventuality.  To be a parent is to worry, but I think that the worry that these parents must face is monumental – and the love that keeps them bright, loving, and dedicated to their children must be incredibly powerful.  I hope they know and are comforted by the fact that their children are in a safe, well-maintained place to live, and receiving care from people who are kind and caring to their children. 

More and more, we live in a world where everyone’s good motive is suspect, and often we find out that something that was begun with a good purpose has become ineffective, either because of lack of money, or futility, or because the original do-gooder just lost interest.  But I have to say, living next to Creative Housing is a daily sip of restored faith.  The folks behind this endeavor (and there are Creative Housing apartments and houses all over Columbus) are truly the image of love and grace, and I am so lucky to be their neighbor.